Crying is a normal part of every baby’s development, but that doesn’t make it any easier for parents to endure, especially when it seems endless. If your baby just won’t stop crying no matter what you try, take a deep breath – you’re not alone. Here is a comprehensive guide to coping with a crying baby and soothing even the fussiest little one.
What’s Normal Crying for a Baby?
It’s perfectly normal for newborns to cry up to 2 hours per day. In fact, crying is the main way babies communicate hunger, discomfort, overstimulation, boredom, and need for comfort.
Around 10-30% of babies have colic, crying inconsolably for over 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks. Colic usually starts around 2 weeks and ends by 4 months old. The cause is unknown but may relate to gastrointestinal discomfort.
Why Won’t My Baby Stop Crying?
Babies cry for many different reasons. Try these tips to figure out why your baby is crying:
- Check if baby is hungry – offer the breast or a bottle
- Check diaper – change if wet or dirty
- Burp baby if gassy – gentle pats on the back
- Try swaddling to contain body and help baby feel secure
- Give pacifier for comfort sucking
- Hold and rock baby close to provide warmth and motion
- Play soft music or white noise to create a calming environment
- Lower lights or draw blinds if baby is overstimulated
- Check for signs of illness like fever, cough, congestion
When You’ve Tried Everything and Baby is Still Crying
It’s frustrating when your baby just won’t stop crying no matter what you do. Here are some possible reasons:
The Witching Hour – Cluster of fussiness in evening when baby is overtired but can’t settle. Happens around the same time every day.
Colic – Severe crying that starts and ends for no reason. Usually in the evening.
Teething Pain – Extra drool, chewing hands, crying during feeding.
Hunger – Growth spurts at 2-3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months.
Ear Infection – Tugging ear, fever, drainage from ear.
Allergy – Painful gas or rash in formula-fed or breastfed babies.
Overstimulation – Babies need quiet downtime too, not just interaction.
How to Cope When Your Baby is Crying Non-Stop
Follow these tips when your baby just won’t settle:
- Stay calm – Crying isn’t your fault. Put baby somewhere safe like the crib and walk away briefly if needed.
- Take care of yourself – Sleep, eat well, get fresh air. Ask someone to mind baby if possible. You can’t care for baby if you’re depleted.
- Try different soothing techniques – Walks, car rides, baby wearing, swings, white noise, etc. experiment to see what works.
- Check with the doctor – Rule out medical issues like reflux, food intolerance, etc. Get help if crying is causing you depression or anxiety.
- Accept your emotions – Feeling upset, anxious, angry or sad is normal. Don’t bottle it up. Talk to other parents for support.
- Practice self-care – Deep breaths, meditation, exercise, and time with loved ones goes a long way. Don’t neglect your needs.
When to Take Baby to the Emergency Room
Seek immediate medical attention if your baby has any of these symptoms while crying:
- Seizure
- Blue lips or fingers
- Labored breathing or sucking in stomach
- Fever with cold hands/feet
- Spotty rash (sign of meningitis)
Never shake baby – it can cause brain damage or death. If you feel overwhelmed, put baby down and call someone.
What If My Baby Only Stops Crying When Held?
Some babies cry more when put down. Rest assured, you can’t spoil a newborn. To cope try:
- Baby-wearing in a sling or carrier when possible
- Swings and bouncers (always supervised)
- Car rides in the car seat
- Stroller walks
- White noise machine to mimic womb sounds
- Swaddling to feel secure
- Pacifier to satisfy need to suck
While difficult, this phase will pass. Stay patient and keep trying different techniques. Get support from family, friends, or other parents.
When to Talk to Your Pediatrician
Consult your pediatrician if:
- Crying lasts over 3 hours a day, 3x a week, for weeks
- Crying increases suddenly or sounds different
- Signs of illness like fever, vomiting, diarrhea
- No weight gain or difficulty feeding
- Caregiver depression, anxiety, anger, or frustration
- You suspect food allergy, reflux, or other issue
- Baby won’t settle without being held all the time
- Crying is causing relationship stress
- Your instincts say something is wrong
Sleep Training for Babies Who Won’t Self-Soothe
Once baby is 4-6 months, you can begin gentle, progressive sleep training to teach self-soothing skills. Experts recommend:
- Putting baby down drowsy but awake at bedtime to practice settling independently.
- Using consistent, calming bedtime routines like swaddle, shush, swing.
- Letting baby fuss for gradually increasing intervals before responding.
- Implementing schedules, routines, and appropriate wake windows.
- Removing sleep crutches/associations like nursing to sleep.
Check with your pediatrician before sleep training to rule out hunger, illness, or developmental issues. Sleep training too early or harshly can be counterproductive.
When Baby Just Won’t Stop Crying, Stay Strong
Coping with a crying baby pushes parents to their limits. But remember:
- This difficult phase WILL pass. Stay patient.
- Take good care of yourself – you matter too!
- Try different techniques to find what soothes your baby.
- Check with the doctor to rule out underlying issues.
- Never hesitate to seek extra support when stressed.
- Remind yourself: You are doing the best you can! That is enough.
With time, persistence and self-care, you will get through this. Those smiles will come!
Frequently Asked Questions About Crying Babies
Here are answers to the top 10 frequently asked questions about crying babies and how to soothe them:
- Why does my baby cry for no reason?
Babies may cry for reasons that aren’t obvious like colic, overtiredness, overstimulation, or needing calmer interaction. Staying patient and experimenting with different soothing techniques can help.
- How do I comfort a crying baby?
Try swaddling, pacifiers, baby wearing, white noise, gentle motion, low lights, and calming routines. Determine if baby is hungry, tired, overstimulated, bored, or needs a diaper change. Respond sensitively to their cues.
- Can I spoil my baby by holding them when they cry?
You cannot spoil a newborn baby. Babies cry because they need comfort and physical touch. Respond lovingly to their cries and hold them as much as they need.
- What if my baby only calms down when I hold them?
It’s common for babies to find comfort in their parent’s arms. Baby-wearing devices allow you to keep baby close when your arms get tired. Their dependence will decrease over time.
- When should I worry about my baby crying too much?
Consult your pediatrician if crying exceeds 3 hours/day, 3 days/week for over 3 weeks straight. Also if crying increases suddenly or causes caregiver depression or frustration.
- Can colic cause brain damage in babies?
No, colic does not damage the brain. But colic can lead to Shaken Baby Syndrome if a frustrated caregiver loses control. Never shake or harm a baby.
- What helps gassy babies who cry a lot?
Gently rub or bicycle baby’s legs, use gas drops, burp often, avoid overfeeding, and experiment with different bottles/nipples or mom’s diet if breastfeeding.
- Can crying too much make my baby sick?
Extreme crying is stressful and can cause baby to vomit, but it doesn’t cause illness on its own. Check with your doctor if vomiting, fever, or other symptoms accompany crying.
- Is it normal for babies to cry when tired?
Yes, it’s very common for overtired babies to fuss and cry. Establishing consistent nap routines helps babies settle themselves when tired.
- When does colic go away in babies?
Colic improves dramatically around 3-4 months old as baby’s nervous system matures. By 5 months, almost all colic resolves on its own. Consult your doctor if colic persists beyond 6 months.
The Takeaway
Coping with a crying baby pushes parents to their absolute limits. But stay strong. This difficult time will pass. With patience, self-care, help from your “village,” and trial-and-error, you will figure out how to soothe your little one. Above all, remember that you are doing great, mama. This too shall pass.